This week a lot of people in my “inner circle” have been extremely stressed and negative, so thats why I am writing this. I am by far not the best person to write this, but I feel like if I can help out one person, its worth it....
If you have known me for any length of time, you know I have 2 emotions, happy, and happier. A few people have recently asked me how I do it. This post will explain it.
When I was growing up my (awesome) dad told me several times that being happy was a choice. Just think about that. Every single day you have the ability to wake up and be happy. Or, every single day you wake up, you have the ability to be miserable. I choose to be happy. I genuinely feel extremely blessed and lucky to be me.
Attitude Of Gratitude
I am thankful for a ton of things that people don’t even notice. My friends, my family, my career position (all obvious ones) but, I also appreciate literally everything else. I love nature stuff, I appreciate bugs and sunsets, and the power of waves, and the echo/sound of a basketball dribbling. It just blows my mind how everything works.
A few years ago when I was starting my real estate investment business, I talked to one of the people in the business that I would consider a mentor. He told me that whenever something stressed him out, or made him angry, he would just start saying “thank you” to everything. “Thank you for all of the deals I have” “thank you for the endless amount of leads coming in” “thank you for the amazing people I get to work with”. Even if it isn’t the case, your mindset shifts from anger or frustration to just gratitude.
You Are Way Too Lucky
First of all, if you are reading this, you have a computer/smart phone whatever. You have the internet. You have eyes that work. Consider yourself lucky. Watch this if you don’t believe me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQSjyYRTDVM
I am so lucky to have everything I have. I know I don’t have near the material positions as a lot of people, but I also know that I have a ton more than a lot more people. I know I may not have the best looks, but I also know I am not the ugliest dude ever. There is always someone in a position that you wouldn’t want to be in.
Once you start appreciate everything and considering yourself truly lucky, things will start happening to you that didn’t before. The craziest stuff happens to me on a daily basis. Ask any of my friends. And maybe it’s because things come to me, and I truly am lucky, or maybe it is my mind set that is different, and I see things differently so things that people would just brush off, turn into things that are awesome/crazy for me.
Time to Zen Out
I was listening to one of Joe Rogan’s podcasts and he said his friend would make this one trip to Boston from NYC on a regular basis, and Joe asked him “how in the hell do you do that?” his friend replied “I just zen out”. I loved that line. I say it all of the time. Probably 500x a day or more.
I make a trip to Elizabethtown several times a week from my house (over an hour each way). Now, I know thats not a big commute compared to some people, but I absolutely hate driving. Like, I would rather ride my bicycle or walk than drive any day. So an hour drive for me, is like.... 10 hours to a normal person (if my conversion chart is correct). I honestly don’t care about the drive anymore. It used to stress me out before, but now I just zen out. Let me explain what that means to me.
To me, to zen out, is to just accept the fact that, you are just doing what you are doing. So here is what I do: I get in my car, turn my phone on silent, put some great music on (or whatever you love), and I just zen out. You just go to another planet and just be cool with what you are doing. I don’t rush, I don’t make calls, I rarely txt, I just “do me”. That is my me time. Driving through York, and Lancaster, and Elizabethtown, it’s a beautiful drive, you can smell cow shit. You can see ducks crossing the road, you can see the Susquehanna river, it’s just awesome for me now.
Don’t Change Your Income, Change Your Wants
If anyone reading this knew me a few years ago, I was extremely money driven and materialistic. Just when I started to be not so happy, a few people came into my life, one was a younger super successful doctor, another a young, very successful family man who is an insurance agent. They both seemed crazy happy. And I wanted to get to know them. One day the insurance agent said to me “The easiest way to be happy with materialistic things is to just change what you want, to change what is important to you”. That just hit me. I wanted the private jets, the Brioni suits, the crazy “jay-z-stuff”. I realized that working my life away to have that stuff may be for some people, but its not for me. I drive a POS car, I rarely buy expensive clothes (still have some from before), and I rarely spend ridiculous money on things (minus experiences, because experiencing great/different things is important to me still). I think when you appreciate what you currently have in your life, the need to buy the next best thing goes away.
That being said, I still want an Aston Martin, because it is super sexy, and the sound..... oh god that sound.
Control Your Surroundings
You control every aspect of your life. If you want to be rich, you can be rich. If you want to be broke, you can be broke. If you want a family, you can have a family etc. I want to have the coolest people in the world as my friends. And I do. None of my friends are “Negative Nancies” and if they are being lame (negative), I’ll just call them out on it, and they either change, or I don’t hang out with them anymore. Another great thing about being radiantly happy, is people want to be around you. You will attract people in your life that are amazing. Ever since I have been truly happy with everything in my life, I have made more great friends, met more incredible girls, have experienced so many cool things, I just cant explain how cool it is.
I really think that once people grasp the idea that their life is theirs to change, quite a bit of change will happen for everyone. Its not the easiest thing in the world to control every thought you have, but you will get the hang of it sooner or later.
I know, I didn’t hit everything with this post, but hopefully one of you will make the change, or continue the happiness because of this.
Hit me up on twitter @mikeswords if you have any questions. Thanks!